Up through 2400 bps, each direction got its own slice of the band. From V.32 on, both sides talk on the same frequencies at once and echo cancellers subtract each modem's own voice.
56K works because the ISP's end is digital. Only one analog to digital conversion can sit between you and them, so two home modems never got past 33.6k.
Hayes put every command behind AT in 1981, and nearly every modem after copied it. That is why the commands in the decoder all start the same way.
Standard handshakes are generated from the published specs: Bell 103 and 212A, V.21, V.22bis, V.25, V.32bis, V.8, V.34 and V.90. HST, PEP, CSP, V.FC and V.fast were proprietary and are marked as approximations.